Social Awkwardness

Humans are social beings, without communication, they'll go out of their mind. But I think I'm already out of my mind figuring out social living. I loathe the feeling of sitting next to a stranger, making small-talks to live another day. I'm a shy character. Almost too shy.

Typical gesture I would have made is tick-tacking away the hours with my handphone while on the table with the stranger. Don't laugh. We do that most of the time. We don't really have anything to do with our phones. We were just checking our old inbox, ridiculous enough to laugh at some old messages to pretend we were having some pleasant conversation with our imaginary friend. Then we would look up to see our strangers doing the same thing.

People would name me a sociopath. I do enjoy my moments without some strangers to share it with. Forgive me for having no small-talks ability. I would let hours hover away before I had the courage to say "so...." followed up with "how's life?" or "have you eaten?". I am just that pathetic.

I do have the problem with my hearing whenever I'm with a stranger. I have always perceived the wrong question, only to be embarassed later for answering with a ridiculous answer. The stranger asked me "How's study?", and I would answer "I'm single". I would have a head-knocking session when I got home that night. Later I'll blame fate for putting me in the position of such awkwardness.

There you have it. My biggest shame. I would not admit I'm a sociopath. I had always become a good friend to those I knew. My social circle might be small. At least I have a social circle. Mua. Ha. Ha.